Paris then Kim

July 2016 Once Paris Hilton hung a flip phone over the elastic waistband of her velour tracksuit pants. No one on Wall Street has ever made this level of power move. Flat midriffs were so central to the early aughts. Before ig all femme social status had to be communicated through the sharpness of your hip bones. This was before Kim K proved mainstream white women could be thick, and gave the rest of us permission to desire the same instead of reject what wasn't possible on our figures. Jeans slung low bc that's what suited those without the fat and muscle to keep them high. This was back when mainstream women didn't know to grind on men, you caught a boyfriend by hooking him like a trout onto your pelvic bones. This no longer works. Outside of art schools, the few clubs desperately trying to continue 'heroin chic', and gyms frequented by juice cleansers, it seems it's more on trend to be a body pillow than a fishing rod. Me? I'm a Nokia.